we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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