Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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