remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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