I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
