there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
