Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
