I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
