Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
