At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize