talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
