i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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