Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize