My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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