I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
