i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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