just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
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