How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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