im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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