My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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