took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize