good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
