Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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