how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
