Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
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Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
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Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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