Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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