i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
This couple is walking their pig around campus
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Shame - the story of my life.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize