He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
