Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize