I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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