I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
