Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
