I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
