well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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