If i come over, it means nothing
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
