Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
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