Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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