you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
