Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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