So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
