U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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