i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
