i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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