Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
