I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
