After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
