This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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