It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
