Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
My vagina is very pro this idea
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
