the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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