Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
