Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
