Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
