people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
