i think i have herpe
just one?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
