There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
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