Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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