i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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