I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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