He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
