It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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